Becoming Your Future Self: The Power of New Habits and Letting Go

By Suzanne Hamil, LMSW/RSW

What if I told you that the gap between where you are and who you want to become is smaller than you think?

Not because change is easy, but because change is possible, predictable, and already wired into the way your brain works.

We often think we need a massive breakthrough to start new habits or release old ones. But the truth is this: transformation begins with one intentional moment. One new thought. One brave choice.

Let’s talk about how.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy – CBT - shows us something life-changing: your thoughts create your patterns. Not your past. Not your mistakes. Your thoughts. That means every time you challenge an old belief, like “I’ll never stick with this” - you create space for a new reality. You build a new pathway. A new possibility.

Isn’t that empowering? You don’t have to climb a mountain to build a new habit. You shift one thought. You take one action. And the system begins to change.

Then there’s Motivational Interviewing, which reminds us of something we often forget:

You already have reasons to change.

You already have wisdom inside you.

You already have desire - maybe quiet, maybe buried - but it’s there.

MI tells us, “Let’s bring that desire forward.” When you ask yourself, Why does this matter to me? Who will I become if I follow through? - you wake up the most powerful source of energy you have: your internal motivation. Not pressure. Not guilt. But purpose.

Now, purpose is powerful…but it doesn’t erase discomfort. That’s where Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, ACT, steps in with a message I love:

You don’t have to feel ready to take action. You just need to take action that matches your values.

ACT teaches us to drop the struggle with our thoughts - the doubt, the fear, the resistance - and move forward anyway. Because courage isn’t the absence of discomfort. Courage is choosing what matters, even when discomfort shows up.

Then there’s the part of change we rarely talk about:

Why old habits are so hard to let go.

For that, we turn to Internal Family Systems, IFS. IFS teaches that every old pattern, even the ones we wish we could erase, came from a part of us that once tried to protect us. That procrastinating part? That emotional eater? That overworking perfectionist?

They weren’t trying to sabotage you.

They were trying to save you.

When we stop shaming those parts, when we start listening to them, they relax. They release. They make room for the version of you who is ready to rise.

So, if you’re trying to build new habits or let go of old ones, let me tell you this:

You are not starting from scratch.

You are starting from wisdom.

You are starting from resilience.

You are starting from every part of you that has survived, adapted, and learned.

You don’t need perfection. You don’t need endless motivation. You don’t need the “right” moment.

You need one shift.

One thought that challenges an old belief.

One action that aligns with who you want to become.

One moment of compassion for the parts of you that are still scared.

That’s it.

Change moves in inches before it moves in leaps.

The future version of you, the one who lives the habits you’re trying to create, already exists. You’re not trying to become someone new.

You’re uncovering someone you’ve always been capable of being.

Give your brain new instructions.

Give yourself permission to evolve.

And watch what happens when you decide, really decide, to become your future self.