Politics at the Table: How to Disagree Without Disconnecting

By Suzanne Hamil, LMSW/RSW

Imagine this: you’re at a dinner party. The food smells amazing, the conversation is flowing - then someone drops the word: politics. Suddenly, the warmth in the room chills. Some people lean in. Others lean back. A few silently pray for dessert to be served early.

Why does this happen? Because politics is never just about policy. It’s about identity. When we talk politics, we’re often really saying: This is how I see the world. This is who I am. And when identities collide, things get personal - fast.

But here’s the opportunity: politics doesn’t have to be a conversational landmine. In fact, it can be a bridge. The key is not to win the argument, but to win the relationship.

Three quick tools:

1. Curiosity over combat. Instead of loading up your “rebuttal cannon,” ask: “How did you come to see it that way?” People relax when they feel heard.

2. Shared values before sharp edges. You might disagree on immigration policy, but both of you care deeply about family, safety, or fairness. Find that overlap first - it sets a foundation.

3. Exit with grace. If the conversation gets too heated, it’s not weakness to say: “I value our relationship too much to let this ruin dinner. Let’s pause.” That’s strength.

So next time politics comes up at the table, don’t fear it. Use it. Use it to listen better, to connect deeper, and maybe, just maybe, to prove that disagreement doesn’t have to mean disconnection.

If we can learn to stay at the table with each other - especially when it’s hard - then maybe we can start building a world where politics isn’t something that divides us, but something that reminds us, we’re all in this together.