Who’s Driving - You or Your Anger?

By Suzanne Hamil, LMSW/RSW

Have you ever been cut off in traffic and suddenly felt your whole-body tense up - your heart racing, your jaw clenching, your hand glued to the horn? That’s not just bad driving. That’s anger, taking the wheel.

Road rage has become one of the most accepted outlets for anger - but also one of the most dangerous. Research shows aggressive driving contributes to more than half of traffic accidents. Not because we don’t know how to drive, but because we don’t know how to manage our emotions while driving.

Here’s why. When we get angry, the amygdala - the brain’s alarm system - fires. Adrenaline surges. Our thinking brain, the prefrontal cortex, takes a back seat. In a car, that means impulsive choices: tailgating, speeding, yelling. Suddenly, we’re not just operating a vehicle - we’re operating anger.

Here’s the truth: anger isn’t bad. It’s information. It tells us we feel disrespected, or unsafe, or rushed. The problem isn’t the feeling - it’s how we respond to it.

So, what do we do? A few quick tools:

1. Name it: Simply saying, “I’m angry” re-engages your rational brain.

2. Breathe it out: Try a 4-second inhale, 6-second exhale. It calms your nervous system.

3. Reframe the story: Instead of “That driver disrespected me,” try “Maybe they’re having a worse day than I am.”

4. Release it: Put on music, a podcast, or repeat a mantra - “I’ll get there when I get there.”

Every time you drive, you get a choice: let anger take the wheel or stay in control yourself. Imagine if more of us chose calm instead of rage - roads would be safer, our commutes less stressful, and our lives a little lighter.

So next time you feel that surge, remember: the strongest move isn’t speeding up or shouting back. It’s taking a breath, loosening your grip, and reminding yourself - you’re the driver, not your anger.